Hello there, sorry for the net silence but I’ve had a busy old time lately (and told myself that I am not going to get myself anxious over my anxiety blog so have decided to post when I feel like I have something to say rather than force myself to).
What’s new in my life then? Well I have a new job being a waitress at a hotel nearby, I have recently bought a new car as my faithful old one seems to have fallen victim to rust and failed its MOT (that didn’t stress me out at all), and, due to an old enemy rearing its ugly head, new bald patches.
I mentioned before that I have struggled with Trichotillomania since I was 11 years old (when I pulled all my hair around the crown of my head), but haven’t pulled from my head since then. Well, as of last night I have two bald spots along my parting towards the crown of my head. The first I could easily brush my hair over, but the latest one is in such a place that the only thing I could do to hide it was part my hair on the other side or pull it back into a tight pony tail.
I’m trying not to feel too disappointed with myself, I can’t help doing it, and the thing that really sucks is that I didn’t become aware I was doing it until it was too late. The patches are only about the size of a one pence piece, so fortunately I haven’t done too much damage, but it’s hard to leave the areas alone now that I’ve started doing it again. I just spent half an hour looking for square scarves on Amazon as I previously had fun trying 1940s style head wraps, so thought I might try wearing those as a way to physically stop myself from being able to access my hair (and use it as an excuse to treat myself to something nice).
The puzzling thing is that, aside from the car drama, I haven’t been feeling overly anxious lately. I had noticed that I had slipped back into the ‘I’m not good enough’ thoughts, but not like I was constantly putting myself down last year. I’ve booked an appointment at the doctors anyway, as I’m taking this a sign that I need to start looking after myself again before I have a possible relapse (hello me, I’m listening!)
Other than that the only other real thing I can do is putting the techniques I learnt from CBT into practise and see if that helps. Oh, and listen to my favourite episode of the Goons; The Phantom Head Shaver of Brighton because I do know a man with a hairy bald head.
(If you have not had the pleasure of listening to The Phantom Head Shaver, the episode can be found here)