One of the first questions my Cognitive Behavioural Therapist asked me when I had my assessment session was: ‘Do you have support?’
Support is very important when you have a mental illness as often you can feel very isolated. You may feel like no one will want to talk to you about it, or you worry about alienating people and that they won’t understand. Due to the stigma that surrounds mental health, it means that it can be difficult to open up and talk about it, especially to those who have little knowledge of how mental health affects people. It can be tough, but, believe me, there are plenty of people out there who are, and will be, supportive.
As I was quite young when I first experienced mental health problems, it took me a long time to be able to talk to others about it. When you’re young it can be hard as a lot of people your own age don’t understand, and there are those who won’t think you’ll have gone through enough to constitute being unwell.
At the grand old age of 23, it’s much easier for me to talk about it; I’ve had plenty of time to come to terms with what’s wrong with me. However. people newly diagnosed at my age often feel the same sense of isolation I felt when I was younger. The only thing I can say to those people is: ‘You are NOT alone.’ There are people going through what you’re going through, and people who have been through what you’re going through. It can be difficult to find them, but I assure you, they are there.
Group therapy sessions can be useful to put you in touch with people who are going through similar things, and a counsellor or therapist is also great to have as someone to talk to outside of your day-to-day life and they can give you an objective opinion on your problems. It is also important to have someone you can turn to and be there to listen when you’re feeling down. .
For me, I have my boyfriend, dad, sister, mum and a few friends that I can just blurt out my problems/feelings/blah to and know they’ll listen, tell me I’m okay and then talk to me about it. You’re allowed to talk about your mental health any time, not just in a therapy session. There are people who will be happy for you to talk to them (and even want you to).
Having a network of support is immensely reassuring. I have to admit I’ve had a social cleanse over the last few years, and now I have a circle of good friends and family members that I know I can turn to when I need to. I found that, personally, I had to cut out or at least distance myself from those people who wouldn’t understand, or would at expect me to always be there for them and then not return the same courtesy. I felt I had to do it as they were bringing me down (and to be honest, I’ve told myself that if people don’t want to know me when I’m at my worst, they don’t deserve me at my best. Respect yourself Jenny!) Again, that’s what I had to do for myself.
Of course, there are people who get uncomfortable talking about your personal issues, and at times it’s important to respect that. People don’t always know how to react. It doesn’t mean they don’t care, it just might take them a little while to come to terms with what you have told them. I remember how some people reacted when I told them I pull out my hair, it’s not something that is often encountered.
In my opinion, that is exactly why we should talk about it more openly. It’ll not only help people see that mental health issues are just as prevalent and important to treat as physical health problems, but also help break down barriers surrounding mental health and broaden understanding of it.
The most important thing to remember is: You are not alone!